Are there straight men from Venus?

If so...I think I am from Mars.

I have lately been confronted by the old traditional gender roles and the prejudices associated with a relationship... and I find them unnervingly false. Throughout most of my youth...and yes I am aware that I am still young and perhaps even still a part of "youth", I have been told through various social gatherings and TV programs, movies etc that the man is supposed to have a certain role. The 21st century brought with it a sense of equality between a man and his woman and at least in my part of the world such an accomplishment has been reached...at least to a certain level. We as women expect our man to help out at home...do the dishes, clean the bathroom and do laundry, and men are aware of this and try to meet our expectations (at least some of them do). Yet some jobs are categorized as "man-jobs". Examples of such jobs are: changing the light bulb in the ceiling (of course we can't stand on a chair and do this ourselves...we are way too short), change a fuse (don't want to be electrocuted...), download a new program to our computer (want someone else to blame if a virus breaks the computer), get said program to work, assemble IKEA furniture and connecting the VCR to our television set. And that brings us to my state of confusion.

Last night I was watching TV with the boyfriend...and I mentioned how I was a little torn about what to do tomorrow night (a.k.a tonight) regarding the Oscar's. I never get to watch this show as they always tend to air it when I am at work or have some other obligation. -But this year I actually don't have anything scheduled...apart from the "surprise" screening at the film club which usually tends to be a good film...and I love surprises...so what to do? So he, the boyfriend, mentions that he has a VCR and perhaps he can tape the show? -But, he has no idea how to hook up the VCR and how to make it work. Being the somewhat technical person I am, I thought no more of it and started to explain to him how to hook it up and how to set the VCR using the SCART cable...at which point he manages to ask me: "What is a SCART cable?"...Ok.

So I, the woman, start explaining what a SCART cable is and while I am doing this he rolls his eyes and exclaims "It's strange how, with all our technology, they havent been able to make a DVD player that can record stuff..." At this point my jaw hit the floor and I started laughing uncontrollably.

I love my man, bless his heart, but he is not very technical. I have realized that we contradict the traditional assumptions regarding a relationship. He loves 'Desperate Housewives' while I prefer 'CSI', he bakes wonderful cakes while I assemble IKEA furniture and he does the dishes while I connect the VCR. And it really doesnt matter who knows how to do what, as long as it gets done. I dont care that he doesnt know how work the VCR...'cause I do. I love that he knows how to bake a cake...'cause I dont.

Besides, as he put it; "At least I have a power drill..."

I think it is time we as women let go of our prejudice. We want to be equal to men so it is time we let them be equal to us as well.

After all it is the 21st century...

The high and low concept.

My friend wawa (she will always be wawa to me...) started a blog not too long ago, built on the high/low concept. I know she got this idea from a movie we both enjoy called "The story of us" (1999) and it is a concept I have loved ever since. Ive personally done it many times, although Ive kept it just to myself. It is especially useful at times with high stress levels or a general feeling of being blue.

In the movie Ben (Bruce Willis) and Katie (Michelle Pfeiffer) are married but drifting apart, and the story revolves around their attempt to save their relationship. The high/low concept is something they do with the kids every night at dinner and it is as simple as to state the best and worst thing that happened that day.

Ive found that if you do this every day, at least for a certain period of time, you start looking for the good things that happen and you take notice. The little things that might have passed unnoticed before suddenly gets a certain level of importance. A person on the bus complimenting you on your hairdo on a bad hairday (or what you thought was a bad hairday) are remembered more easily if you look for happy moments during the day. Snowfall instead of rain or a really great cup of coffee at breakfast can really cheer you up if you open up to it. Normally most people let these moments pass as if they have no meaning at all, and the result is grumpy morning-people and people complaining about the cold weather...(Do you honestly not want dry snowfall instead of wet rain? Put on some more clothes damn it and stop complaining). As you go along you may start to notice that the high's become more and more significant and the low's more and more insignificant to the point where "Out of toiletpaper at the public bathroom" becomes the low on a day with the opposit "Got asked out on a date by a really great guy/girl"-high. Eventually you may find it harder to state low's than high's at which point you have to face the fact that you are no longer feeling blue or sad in any way if that was your original mood.

Sometimes people need this kind of perspective...I know I do. Low's tend to get way too much attention and people complain more than they enjoy. And the ironic thing is; a low which feels horrible or life-ruining at one point may just turn out to be a high in the end after all. New doors may open and life may take new turns, and although most people characterize change as a low it most often turns out to be a high.

Ive been wrecking my brain while writing this, trying to come up with my own high and low for the day. My day is only half finished, and so far I have been able to think of 3 high's and no low's...Im sure a low will turn up eventually, but for now I will focus on the 3 high's:

• I got an additional 4 months added to my Master degree deadline
• I got my paper from last semester approved by Uni
• Im going to the theater tonight to watch the classic film noir: Murder, My Sweet (1944)

And while I was writing that list I did actually come up with a low. It is raining cats and dogs outside and I only have a half broken umbrella with me...so I am going to get wet when I go home tonight...but in light of the high's today, it doesnt seem bad at all.

In fact; it is insignificant.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

I usually dont give reviews of books Ive read...not because I dont like to talk about books...or because I dont read...cause I do. In fact I always have a book Im working on...I just tend to take a while reading them. I spend all day reading scientific articles or text book litterature, so reading isnt the first thing on my mind when I get home at night. However, this weekend I started reading a book I just have to tell you about. I picked it up on Friday and finished it at Sunday, which is unusually quick being me. I simply could not put it down. (I mean, obviously I did put it down at times or I would have finished it by Friday...but you know what I mean...).

The book, which is called "The curious incident of the dog in the night-time" (by Mark Haddon), is about a 15 year-old kid who seems to be...what should I say...mentally challenged, but turns out to be more autistic than unintelligent. He decides to find out who killed the neighbors dog and in the process discovers a lot more about himself and his family. The 15 year-old is the narrator and this is what makes the book so hard to put down. The story is told through his eyes, and you find yourself realizing truths way before the narrator himself gets it, and it is wonderfully frustrating. If you are looking for a book to read, this one comes highly recommended. Another pluss is the short chapters. I tend to read while eating breakfast and usually dont have much time...so short chapters make it easy to read a few chapters qucikly and then carry on with what you were supposed to do.

So there you go. Now you know what the next book on your list is...in case you were wondering.

2007 in retrospect

As we have now entered a new year, I wish to take a moment to reminisce the previous one. I am not going to give a long detailed review of how everything went down and what I did during 2007...but at the end of each year I always feel the need to look back for a little while and recap the highlights and the bombs of the past year.

I guess 2007 didnt really bring anything spectacular. My life situation is still the same. The guy I mentioned in my 'new year'-post last year is still my boyfriend. I am still a student. I am still living in the same apartment. I still work in the same grocery store. My boss is still the same (and claims to be a little frustrated that Im not afraid of her...bless her heart). The pug is still fat (although he has lost some weight). In short, everything is normal and comfortable. I dont know why that sounds so negative. But it kind of does, doesnt it? Fortunately I dont see it that way. I think most people are happy when life is comfortable and as conflict free as possible. I personally prefer to have a comfortable frame I can hide in when things start getting uncomfortable. That way I can push the lines and try new stuff and still know that if all fails, I can go back to my safe zone and recuperate.

I guess if you are reading this (all 3 or 4 of you) you are thinking that "poor Ski doesnt have much of a life...." and you couldnt be more wrong. I did change a couple of things and I have gotten some new hobbies...or at least rediscovered a few. I changed my haircolor from natural dirty blond to red...or brownish red. Looks good I think...and the boyfriend seems to agree. I have allowed myself to switch between styles more than before. I am just as happy being a girly girl one day and then a tomboy the other. My friend Linn (reader number 1 or 2..perhaps even 1 AND 2) was shocked when I showed up at her New Years Eve party in a dress...I had no idea that was such a rare thing...Ive never thought of it before...but I guess you are right. I dont really wear dresses much to parties...Im more of a jeans and tee kind of girl. As well as switching between fashion styles, Ive also reduced my black collection of clothes to a minimum. I can now honestly say that I love wearing yellow, green and purple just as much as black. Colors rock! It actually does improve your mood...and I thought sunshine was the only thing that worked...

As far as hobbies goes, Ive joined a film club...I know...nerdy stuff, but man how cool is it to watch old movies in a modern theater!? Highly recommended...nerd or not. Im hoping they'll show "Cool hand Luke" this semester....I would love to see Paul Newman on the big screen.

Another nerd artifact I now have in my possession is Nintendo Wii...The kicker though, is that this stuff is far more fun to play with other people than by yourself...Not at all as nerdy as I thought it was...Lots of fun to engage friends with.

And then we have the travels. 2007 was the year of France. April came with Nice and November/December came with Paris. I got a chance to practice my French and surprisingly enough I remember more than I thought. I must have actually paid attention in class! Shocker.

So before this turns into the review I said it wasnt going to be, I would like to hand out the 2007 flower and the 2007 cactus. I will start with the cactus;



The cactus goes to the University of Bergen for stealing so much of my free time. Especially to the CO2 apparatus for making me get up at 8 o'clock on Sunday mornings in vain...



The flower goes to...well i think I need to divide the flower in two. One half goes to the boyfriend for taking me to Nice and to Paris (which I love almost as much as New York). J'adore Paris and Nice was perhaps even more charming. Great bday and anniversary gifts! The other half of the flower is actually going to a fictional character...and I know my friends will laugh now...but my teen hero returned this year and got me all worked up for months, waiting impatiently although excitingly for his return. And I was not disappointed. John McClane was cooler than ever. I can only hope there will be more chapters to follow. I simply love this character. So friends...laugh if you will but remember; its good to allow yourself to get excited...especially about the little things ;)

So 2008, huh? Time flies...and I have a feeling this year will bring more uncertainty...Im supposed to end my education...and hopefully I will get a job...but Im not going to worry about that now. Time will tell.

Sleep vs Life

I actually watched the sunrise today...And I realized that I havent seen many sunrises in my life. It wasnt a particularly beautiful sunrise...slightly yellow with grey clouds in the horizon. -Could have been much prettier...but it hit me that I spend way too much time sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I love to sleep. I love to dream (although I had a very unnerving dream this morning, which I hope never come true), but it really is such a waste. I am a biologist and ofcourse I do know that without sleep our bodies would fall apart and our minds would crash like my packard bell laptop tends to do, but still when you think about it, sleep is such a waste. Imagine all the things you could do if you didnt need any sleep.

The average adult human being needs 8-9 hours of sleep every night according to various studies. That is 2920 hours every year. If you live to be 75 years old, you will have spent 25 years sleeping! Apparently enough sleep every night adds years to your life, but is it really worth it? Lets say 8 hours a night adds 5 years to your life. No one really knows how much longer you will live with 8 hours sleep, but 5 years is a fair amount I should think. Now, if you instead of sleeping 8 hours every night, decided to sleep 6.5 hours, you would sleep about 20 years of your life (in a 75 years lifespan). Meaning; you will have saved up the 5 years you might have gained by sleeping 8 hours! So in reality, you will have an equal amount of time to experience life in. -Only with 6.5 hours you get more time on a daily basis, while 8 hours a night gives you extra time at age 75-80. I dont know...but more time right now seems like a better deal than waiting until Im so old I cant go anywhere. Besides, who knows if you actually get to be 75...a lot can happen in a lifetime *knock on wood*.

Ofcourse if everything was this black and white it would be an easy choice...unfortunately I do love to sleep...and find myself in a much happier mood if I have slept 8-9 hours opposed to 6-7 hours. -My boyfriend can confirm that...

I just wish I could get myself out of bed more often to watch the sunrise. It is an almost religious experience...

That damn sleep

Internationality

Not to worry, I am alive and well (if you were wondering).

The past week has been busy as hell...not that I know how hell is like...I mean, if its busy there or if its painfully slow...I will actually assume the latter...But I have hardly been home. Ive been home to sleep and eat..thats about it. My days have been occupied by Uni, and my evenings by the local theatre. I have spent 7 nights in the world of cinema thanks to an international film festival. It has been surprisingly tiresome...to such a degree that I have ditched uni today just to sleep and perhaps do a little shopping. That is my pathetic attempt of being reckless...but atleast I am trying. Anyway, I have watched some pretty amazing movies, and one in particular I would recommend for my friend Beat.

Ive updated the movie blog on my last week, you can read about it there if you will...now Im going outside to enjoy the sunshine. Fall and sunshine dont usually coincide in this part of the planet I call home.

Carpe diem and all that stuff.