Monday, December 22, 2008

Stressing down...

When I was a little girl, Christmas was the highlight of the year. I loved having time off from school, playing with the other kids in the neighborhood, skiing, building snowmen, having snowball fights...For some reason I can only remember Christmases with the streets covered in snow. I wonder if this is true...if there was a lot more snow when I was younger...or if my mind is so happy about snow that it has blocked out all the Christmases spent indoors with the rain pouring down outside. I find myself wanting to believe the latter...I want to believe that it rained just as much 20 years ago, as it does today...'cause if not...then the climate really is changing. I dont think we've had a white Christmas in Bergen since...2004...which happened to be the very year I spent Christmas in New York...oh the irony...and I didnt get snow in New York either...also ironic as the streets were covered in snow up until 3 days before Christmas when it all rained away...and to top it all it was minus 20 degrees celsius on Christmas Eve...Anyway, I wasnt going to talk about the climate.

Today, when I am in my (gosh it's scary to say this) late 20s, I find Christmas stressful. Especially this year, Christmas came way too early. I wasnt prepared, I still dont understand how I have managed to buy all the presents in time. I have a feeling I have left someone out...which I really, seriously hope I have not. Somehow, November just went by in a whiff. And before I even had the chance to get over the shock of losing November, 2 weeks of December had passed. And here I am...2 days before Christmas, done with my gift shopping, finished with the baking and candy making, the decorating, the wrapping, the Christmas tree...somehow Ive done it all...Ive even squeezed in a dinner party and I have no idea how Ive had the time. I have absolutely no Christmas spirit in my body...it is almost like it has all happened without me present. Yet I have the memories...so I know Ive been there.

I am hoping that once Im done working Tuesday, and Im at my parents house, putting all the presents Ive bought underneath the Christmas tree, smelling the spruce, eating marzipan and petting the pug...that the Christmas spirit will arrive...despite the rain drumming on the windows. I guess it doesnt matter what kind of weather you get, or how many people you buy presents for, or how prepared you are and how much you get done before Christmas. All that matters is being with the people you love. Taking time out of a busy schedule, giving your loved ones your time and your attention.

I appologize for not sending out any Christmas cards this year...I got too caught up in the stress factor of it all...Instead I would like to dedicate this entry to you and wish you a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. May I not take you for granted and be better at showing my appreciation in the next year.

Love
~Ski

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A door to the subconscious

Apparently dreams are supposed to tell you something...something about your state of mind. There are people out there making a living out of interpreting dreams...Thats how serious people take their dreams.

I had a dream yesterday morning which I cant quite figure out...I really do not understand how this dream is supposed to say anything about me...and my state of mind. But I will give you a chance to interpret it if you will...to tell me something I dont know about myself...I will give you that power.

This is my dream;

I was at a camp with lots of people...It was like a working camp where everyone had to work really hard or we would be set to tougher labor. If you didnt work hard enough the boss would send you "out"...and we all feared this. "Out" in this setting was in fact just that...outside.

This is the first warning signal for me, because I normally love to be outdoors...

What is worse is that the unfortunate ones who DID get sent out would just stand out there...in the dusk...looking in at us who were working hard inside.

The person in charge was Scott Patterson. This is the guy who plays "Luke" in “Gilmore girls” (a show I havent watched in probably over a year) and he was situated at a desk in front of the rest of us...looking at us occasionally and reading a book of some sort. We the workers were sitting at desks, much like you do in a classroom, working hard but enjoying ourselves and our work. I remember having a lot of fun with the work. The work consisted of going through old wallets, sorting the contents...and I remember sorting out pesos (which the Spanish dont use anymore after they converted to euro) and I found 35 pesos...I dont even know if a number this low exists in pesos...I remember pesos being in the 1000 and up category....but anyways...I was happy with my 35 pesos...separating them from some other coins when suddenly Tom Cruise (who was initially sitting at the desk behind me sorting the contents of another wallet) walked by saying something to me...Unfortunately I cannot remember what he said to me...and I doubt it was important...but I remember smiling at him…and I apparently knew him well. I asked him if he wanted one of my copies of Mission Impossible...- I dont think I own a copy of this movie...certainly not two, and he DID want it, but I changed my mind and wouldnt give it to him anyway....Instead I got him to sign one of the copies for me...and he signed it with the following message:

-Hi, great to get to know you. It's sad with all the people being sent “out”, isnt it? I hope you get some company at the gym anyways. Signed: Eco ML

I have no idea what ML stands for...In my dream I naturally assumed Eco had something to do with the environment, while ML had something to do with Mission Impossible...I dont know...Mission Limpossible? I didnt spend much time worrying about this though, because I suddenly spotted a pearl necklace and I wanted to find out if it was real...something I had no idea how to do. So I asked if anyone knew how I could figure it out without biting in the pearl and hurting my teeth, when a girl jumped up and handed me a pair of pliers which was supposed to substitute my teeth...I never quite figured out if the necklace was real...because just as I was about to use the pliers on the pearls, my boyfriend woke me up...

I spent the next 10 minutes laughing till tears came down my face, telling my man about my dream...It was so real...yet so far out. Im not even a fan of Tom Cruise...I mean...he is ok and everything...but certainly not one of my favorites...I can tell you one thing though, he was very sweet and comfortable to be around. Not at all the nut job the tabloids talk about…

I really cannot understand why my dream contained two actors I havent seen in any show or movie in probably over a year, pearls, which I have never been obsessed about and a currency which no longer exists! If someone can get any kind of meaning out of this, besides giving me a good laugh (and what a thrill it is to wake up laughing!) I will bow in awe.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Elixir of Life

I believe in coffee...I even believe that it may very well be the elixir of life that our alchemist forefathers talked about. Coffee really can turn lead into gold...figuratively speaking. Obviously...or I would be a very rich woman right now...There is not a surface I havent spilled coffee on...But seriously, you've been there;

Eyelids heavy as lead...no concentrational abilities whatsoever...a cup of coffee, and voilá! A golden moment of concentration and alertness.
I do find it odd, though...that something as simple as a drink made out of a bean and hot water...can taste so good or so horrible depending on how you prepare it. I am currently drinking what I believe to be the worst cup of coffee I have ever offered my palate...And I have drunk coffee many places...anywhere from Africa to Idaho, USA...to mention a few. I have drunk coffee prepared the traditional way by a coffee maker:

The easy way:


The espresso way:


The mocca way:


And my favorite way:


And all methods can create wonderful black potion...or cause a horrible gag-reflex. The cup I am drinking right now was made the easy way...by water which by itself taste awful...and prepared in a water boiler which has seen its better days...so I guess it is no mystery why it tastes so bad...But it doesnt explain why it tasted so bad in France...or London...or at my parents house.

Perhaps it is with coffee the way it is with drugs...You can have a wonderful high, or a bad, bad trip. In that case I am just recovering from a bad trip. Had it been a drug, I would never do it again...But since it is coffee...and not quite yet characterized as a drug, I will give it another shot. Just for the unpredictability of it...and the excitement. And we all need a little excitement.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The little things

I love the little things. I LOVE the little things...I love the little things.

I figured if I wrote it down 3 times, I would be able to concentrate on it. Look away from the big things that are bothering me...Sometimes the bigger issues get in the way of the small things...Issues like money..health...uni...work...stuff that is draining you and shifting your attention from the small things that can make a seemingly bad day pretty good after all.

For instance, I watched a short docu-soap or whatever they call it...a reality based program with 2 newlyweds who wasnt exactly acting like newlyweds...and they got several pieces of homework from this therapist. One of these assignments was to write down 3 things you love about your significant other...every night. Ive thought about this and it is really brilliant. It is like the high/low concept I talked about earlier this year and which my friend wawa keeps doing still (link to the right) where you mention the best and the worst incidents of the day. Focusing on the good sides of your partner can really shift focus. Not that I need to do exercises like this right now. I am happy. I love his ability to compromise, his cuddling nature and his sense of humor...to mention a few. But there will always come a time when exercises like this are necessary. Nobody can stay deliriously happy all the time. That shit only happens in the movies...

I also love that he wants to take me to the movies tonight...on a day that has been pretty stressful. -A small thing that perhaps evens out bigger issues. At least for today. It can even overshadow small crappy things like the really shitty cup of coffee (and I do mean shitty) I am drinking right now *gag*.

So I love the little things...I LOVE the little things...say it with me. You may need this some day as well....remember to love the little things.