Bronzing issues

"Summer finally arrived! I still cannot believe it. Not only am I done with my exams for the semester, but as soon as I finished, the weather changed from rain to sun as well! And those of you who live in Norway where I live know that this is a big deal. No one in the world talks about the weather as much as we do here in Bergen. We are used to rain, and so whenever the sun pops out, people fill the streets and you wont find a single available table at any of the outdoor restaurants/bars. We Norwegians know the significance of a cold beer on a hot day. -And we prefer to drink it in company with at least another 3 cold beers."

I wrote this last week...all happy and giggly...But I didnt get to finish it, so I saved it as a draft...And now I dont want to finish it. This is how summer is right now...and how it usually is:



I dont know what I did wrong...but summer seems to have left me.

But I am optimistic! Fortunately I am going away this summer, and from what Ive heard, its supposed to be sunny there...so we'll see...maybe I'll even get a tan! That has been one of my dreams for quite some time...You see, whenever there is sun, I turn pink. I am a firm believer in genes and heritage, and I believe that my forefathers were evolutionary adapted to snow and cold weather. Its not that long ago since Norway and most of Scandinavia was covered in ice...roughly 10 000 years ago if i remember it correctly (that would be about the time Hugh Hefner was born)...and if you live by hunting in a snowy landscape, it will be a benefit to you if you are very pale...So its not really my fault that I am a pale person...its in my genes. My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-etc grandparents survived during the ice age because they were pale enough to sneak up on dinner....and hence, my genes believe its a benefit to me to be pale. I have tried to convince them otherwise...tanning lotion, sunbathing, tan-colored stockings...but nothing works. I am and will always be a pale or pink person. I guess if I spend a lot of time in the sun I do eventually get slightly tanned...but Im the only one who notice.

I do however think its better to be pale than lobster red. I had this poor girl in the store the other day...she looked like she was wearing a strawberry-red sweather, when she was infact wearing a sleaveless top...and ofcourse the top had to be pastel yellow, just to intensify the red skin. I cannot imagine how painful it must have been to go to bed that night...ouch! Wherever you are my dear lobster-girl. I hope you are doing well. My thoughts are with you.

I have been a lobster-girl myself once. Not a complete lobster though, but partially...chest and buttocks. Dont ask how i managed to burn both my chest AND my ass, but I can tell you as much as it included a deserted beach, a bored boyfriend and a big pile of sand. A burned tush is not comfortable...and definately not sexy once the skin starts peeling...but it was a kick-ass sandcastle! (What did you think we were doing?) Rhodes is a beautiful island, no doubt about it.

In fact, all of Greece is beautiful, and right now I wish I was laying on a greek beach with some greek God-looking fellow rubbing me in with sunlotion...His name should be Marcus....or Flavio...no wait; Zeus... Zeus should be with me right now, rubbing my aching muscles from yesterdays workout...feeding me grapes or something. But alas, Im stuck here, on midsummer night alone with the rain pouring down outside. Maybe I should go out in the rain and dance around the bonfire like everyone else...but no. I think I'll put on a good movie and pop some corn. After all, rain doesnt have to be that bad. It gives you an excuse to do nothing. And no one will judge you for being pale. - You cant get tanned in rain.

I guess the rain can stay. For now.

My granny and Bruce Willis

No, my grandmother is not dating Bruce Willis...If you're an employee of the National Enquirer, you may click the "back" button on your browser now.

However, my grandmother digs Willis. She loves to travel and refuses to join any seniors club because she doesn’t want to "hang around a bunch of old people all day". She has always been into action movies, and her favorites include any movie that has a car-chase involved,- or a big explosion. Now you may wonder how old she is... I could be an 11 year old kid talking about my grandmother who is 40 something in which case this whole situation would not be of much interest. Im sure Bruce Willis has tons and tons of fans that are 40 something...infact, I know he has...but I am not 11 years old. Lets,-out of respect for my dear granny, just say that she is past 65.

Last night I was having dinner with my parents and my grandmother, and after a couple of glasses of wine, she suddenly started talking about Willis. She was telling me what a man's man he is and how tough he looks. Now, I am not someone to disagree about Bruce being a handsome fella, I like the guy, I love his movies (which I have ever since my grandfather told me to watch Die Hard 2 many years ago),- and I figured my grandmother was just saying these things because she had heard me talking to my sister earlier about his upcoming movie '16 blocks' which hits the theaters here next week.

It wasnt until she started talking about one of Bruce’s movies, that I realized she was in fact talking about Willis because she really likes his acting. She told me about this movie she had seen many many years ago, where Bruce was running around on glass...and he was bleeding...and being vulnerable. And she told me that was the moment when she really took a notice to him, - and how she had 'kept an eye' on him ever since. The movie she was talking about was of course the first Die Hard, -to those of you who are from another planet, and this sparked a whole conversation about classic action hero’s and movies. It was eventually decided that Die Hard was the most believable of the big action flicks of the 80s while “the Terminator is of no interest, and Rocky cant speak properly”.

I dont know many people of my grannys generation who love action movies...but Im thinking I should take her to the theater next weekend and watch 16 blocks. After all, not everyone gets to have such a cool granny.