Monday, May 03, 2010

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The constant battle of an addiction

Hi, my name is Ski and I am an addict.

There, I said it. They say the only way to get over such obstacles is to first admit it to yourself and those around you...So now that Ive done that, I reckond the next few steps will be easier. Not that admitting it was so hard...but I need help and I can no longer deny it.

My addiction has been sneaking up on me for several years now...Ive seen the signs and the subsequent dangers lurking in the shadows, but I have ignored them. I have turned my back to 'em and denied their existence.
Why? Because it is easy.

It is easier to ignore a personal flaw or a weak spot of ones being than to face it and fight it. Its easier to run as various rock bands (read: Linkin Park) have been screaming at us for years, and it is true. It IS easier to run. Ignorance is bliss...and all that. There is a reason such clichés exist.

But I can no longer run. I must face my own weakness, and I am doing it here. Right now. On this half deserted (but not forgotten), deeply cared for, blog.

I have issues with the color purple.

*deep sigh*

Purple is my heroin. It is my source of euphoria and the target of all my desires (...literally *cough*).

I own everything purple. The pillows on the sofa are purple, my underwear, my clothes, the curtains and the bed sheets, the candles and cups in my cupboards, my shoes, my cellphone (for real) and believe it or not...the computer I am writing this very text on at this very minute...it is purple.

Whenever I am out looking for clothes or windowshopping...I stop when I see something purple. I am like a raven to shiny objects...except I need them only to be purple. It can be an ugly item for sure. If it is purple, it is beautiful in my eyes. It has gotten so far now that I am trying to push everything purple on my man as well...poor soul.

I recently got a new job, and at my first day I received an orchid from my new coworkers. Guess which color it was? Exactly. And although I usually kill orchids immediately (for some reason I just cannot keep those suckers alive...) this one is still blooming like the magnificent being that is it. It was only yesterday that I realized that the most probable reason for why I always remember to water it, is its color. Its beautiful purple flowers smiling at me...although orchids kinda look like they are pouting with their tongues sticking out at you.

I had known my coworkers for no more than 3 days when one of them made a comment on how spot-on they had been with the color of the orchid. It took her 3 days to figure that purple is my color... Since then I have tried to avoid wearing purple, because I realized that I cannot wear that particular color every day...I will become a caricature of myself. But I have failed. I cant avoid the color, because I do not own enough clothes to build an entire outfit without it.

So what do I do? I go shopping. I try to find clothing of various other beautiful colors...green, blue, yellow, purple...no. Green, blue, yellow....red? No I hate red....p...p...pink?..cant wear it with my red hair...I went shopping and came home, today, with a yellow shirt...and a purple one.

So here I sit. With another purple clothing. Another purple item that I love. I need help. I need detox. I cannot do it on my own. I realize that now.

We are going to a party tonight...And I want to wear a skirt with my new purple leggings that I bought earlier this week. I will try to avoid wearing them, but just the thought of putting them on makes my heart beat faster. It gets me exited and deeply sad at the same time. I know that when you are addicted to something, you have to end it cold turkey. You must stop immediately and never look back. I am going to do that. I will. I will throw away my purple items. I will donate my clothes to the salvation army and give my purple earrings to my friends. I will.

Tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Tonight there's a party.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Beautiful English

Don't you just love it when a translation from one language to another is done word by word without any understanding of the new language?

I wonder how you are supposed to bring the elevator with you to the fireplace. I mean... sure this winter has been colder than usual...but how do you move it? The elevator...? Cause surely they have had problems with it since they tell people not to...? Perhaps they have superhero-guests at this hotel in Bergen.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Finding a job

It has been almost a year since I finished my Master degree. In fact, I believe that March 1st will be my 1 year anniversary. Or, at least it will at that date be one year since I handed in my thesis. The exam came a little later. Either way its odd how quickly time goes by.

When I finished, I decided to give myself some time off before I started prowling the job market. Mostly because I had, at the time, been swimming against the current for a full year, before I was able to get the proper equipment for my laboratory work, and thus finish my degree.

So I took the time off. I relaxed in the sun, I exercised, I wrote. And I loved every second. I loved every second of 3 months, before I started checking out the available jobs out there… Taking those 3 months off was probably a strike of genius, cause the minute I started actively looking for a job, I realized how few available jobs there were out there. And at this point in time people were starting to ask me; what do you do now? Do you have a job? Where do you work? Have you found a job yet?

In the beginning, saying “No” to these questions is not a problem. People don’t expect you to find a job right away, but once you are pushing the 6 months-mark (which in reality for me was a 3-month mark due to my time off) people are starting to get impatient. And worst of all, they are starting to give you that “Oh, I’m sorry”-look that people tend to give the unemployed.

Now, I was far from unemployed. I had my job at the supermarket where I’ve been working the past 9 years, and I was working as a laboratory assistant at the university. But a supermarket job is, in the eyes of “master degree”-educated individuals, not a proper job. Nor is a project-based laboratory assistant position. (Some people can never be satisfied, and to tell you the truth, I predict few jobs are as hard as that of a supermarket employee).

But the constant questions were starting to get uncomfortable. I was essentially having 3 jobs; supermarket, laboratory assistant and writing. I was writing my story which I am still working on, and writing takes time, effort and creativity. But I couldn’t tell people this, mostly because writing will not be a job unless you make money off of it (which you won’t unless you sell it to a publisher). But none of these three jobs were providing my wallet with a comfortable stack of currency. Hence the sad eyes on everyone.

Perhaps people were asking me out of care. Out of concern for me as a person. I know some were asking out of desperation, simply because they too find themselves in the same situation as me. But they seem to forget that nothing comes easily. Very few people on the planet find a job before they have finished their education. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but microbiologists are not part of that lucky group. In fact, in Norway the average newly educated person is unemployed up to a year before finding their first job.

And now it has been a year. And I have found a job.

I have found a great job that I am really excited about, and I know that my writing, my patience, my loyalty to the supermarket I’ve been working at for so long, all have been contributing factors to the job I have now been offered. People seem to forget that seemingly unimportant events and details can lead to something important in life. They seem to forget that there is more to a person than the job they hold. Isn’t it a fact that the first thing we ask a new person we meet is: “What do you do?” as in “what do you do for a living?” I used to say “I work in a supermarket” and people would look sadly at me and say “oh”. Now I give them the name of my new employer and they say “how?”

How? Patience.

So the moral, if there is one, is: Stop harassing people with questions about their work. Jobs will come to those who are patient, hardworking and who take initiative. Lets hope the financial crisis ends soon too, so that it gets a little easier and requires a little less patience.


Oh, and any job no matter how low in status, is better than sitting on your ass doing nothing. Supermarket employees should be saluted on a daily basis… that job is tough.

The two of us...


...On a lunch date