30th or Pearl

My parents are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary this week…30 years…30 years with the same person.

I find it admirable and terrifying at the same time. Admirable because 30 years with one person requires an ability to both give and take in equal amounts…and to accept a person for who they are without trying to change them. I also find it terrifying because I have no one but myself to blame if I cannot accomplish the same. So many people who get divorced like to blame the fact that they come from separate homes as a reason for why they couldn’t make it work. It is nothing but an excuse of course…but I guess sometimes that is just what you need.

It is indeed sad that most kids today grow up in separate homes, and that living with both your mom and your dad is the exception rather than the rule. But at the same time it is understandable…both women and men have careers today, no one is dependent on the other so no one is forced to stay in a bad marriage, which inevitably benefits the kids in the end. A bad marriage is no place for a child.

That is why I have so much respect for those who are able to maintain a good relationship post divorce…Those couples who manage to be a family although new lovers enter their lives. Those who let the kids spend Christmas with both mom and dad even though they are no longer married. With the independence of women today and the constant search for happiness that we all aspire to, that is the future. The ability to stay a family after a divorce.

I have friends who are getting married this year and I have friends who are engaged. My generation is entering that phase of their lives when they feel the need to settle down…start a family and begin the same stage,-the only stage of our parents life, we know and recognize. I hope that our generation will continue the ‘amicable divorce’-trend which the previous generation has barely initiated. And perhaps contribute to a more stable family situation. But most of all, I hope our generation can put the love back into marriage and accept each other for who we are. Because there are still some couples out there who aren’t forced to be together, but who wants to…and therefore get to celebrate a 30th anniversary.

Now, that’s something.

And this post turned way more serious than I planned…but sometimes that’s the way they come out.