The Revenge of the Trees

So, Ive previously mentioned this lecturer I have…the one who has some minor language problems. She is a wonderful person and knows her stuff, she just has some issues with making herself understood. Today I was attending her class, a class that Im starting to really enjoy, mostly because of all the foreign students, and she was talking about trees and cultivated fields. I have to admit I was very tired…not enough sleep the night before, and the subject was slightly (read: very) boring. In these situations I tend to daydream a lot, and find myself wandering the streets of New York City or skiing downhill a nice snowy slope. But anyway, she was talking about grazing and how animals can affect the landscape, and she got my attention with a very simple but mind-boggling sentence: “When animals graze on trees, the leaves and branches on the trees are left at a certain hate” Now of course I knew right away that she meant “height” and not “hate” but it got me thinking…

What would happen if the trees suddenly became able to hate us?

Would they seek revenge for what we are doing to their cousins in the Amazon rainforest? Or what about the massacre you find in forest areas that are being removed to make room for city development?-or for the paper industry? Can you imagine the terror of having a full grown trunk of a tree chasing you? That’s a perfect Hitchcock horror-theme for you right there.

Ive always thought of trees as wise…I mean…I know they cant reason or think at all, but if they could, they would probably be very wise. Some of ‘em are old…very old, and they could probably tell you a lot. There are redwood trees that are more than 2000 years old! 2000 years of wisdom…I bow in awe.

Imagine the sneaky plans a 2000 year-old wise tree could make in order to catch you…the traps would be impossible to escape. Just look at those trees! They are HUGE! It would be like being chased by King Kong or Godzilla! I say no thanks.

Now that Im thinking about it, they sort of have made a movie about trees…although the movie only included trees, but Im sure you’ve seen Lord of the Rings? Remember the Ents? I might get some LOTR fans on my neck now, calling them trees…I guess they were shepherds of the trees? Anyways…they were kind of scary looking creatures…and I wouldn’t want to piss off one of those…









I guess we are lucky that trees cant hate us…or who knows? Maybe they can, they just cant show it to us…and if that is a fact, we will probably have to face their wrath at some point…Maybe at Armageddon. So I suggest that you all start being nice to the trees. Next time you come across a tree, give it a hug and don’t let your dog pee on it.

Save the rainforest: Race for the Rain Forest