The Revenge of the Trees

So, Ive previously mentioned this lecturer I have…the one who has some minor language problems. She is a wonderful person and knows her stuff, she just has some issues with making herself understood. Today I was attending her class, a class that Im starting to really enjoy, mostly because of all the foreign students, and she was talking about trees and cultivated fields. I have to admit I was very tired…not enough sleep the night before, and the subject was slightly (read: very) boring. In these situations I tend to daydream a lot, and find myself wandering the streets of New York City or skiing downhill a nice snowy slope. But anyway, she was talking about grazing and how animals can affect the landscape, and she got my attention with a very simple but mind-boggling sentence: “When animals graze on trees, the leaves and branches on the trees are left at a certain hate” Now of course I knew right away that she meant “height” and not “hate” but it got me thinking…

What would happen if the trees suddenly became able to hate us?

Would they seek revenge for what we are doing to their cousins in the Amazon rainforest? Or what about the massacre you find in forest areas that are being removed to make room for city development?-or for the paper industry? Can you imagine the terror of having a full grown trunk of a tree chasing you? That’s a perfect Hitchcock horror-theme for you right there.

Ive always thought of trees as wise…I mean…I know they cant reason or think at all, but if they could, they would probably be very wise. Some of ‘em are old…very old, and they could probably tell you a lot. There are redwood trees that are more than 2000 years old! 2000 years of wisdom…I bow in awe.

Imagine the sneaky plans a 2000 year-old wise tree could make in order to catch you…the traps would be impossible to escape. Just look at those trees! They are HUGE! It would be like being chased by King Kong or Godzilla! I say no thanks.

Now that Im thinking about it, they sort of have made a movie about trees…although the movie only included trees, but Im sure you’ve seen Lord of the Rings? Remember the Ents? I might get some LOTR fans on my neck now, calling them trees…I guess they were shepherds of the trees? Anyways…they were kind of scary looking creatures…and I wouldn’t want to piss off one of those…









I guess we are lucky that trees cant hate us…or who knows? Maybe they can, they just cant show it to us…and if that is a fact, we will probably have to face their wrath at some point…Maybe at Armageddon. So I suggest that you all start being nice to the trees. Next time you come across a tree, give it a hug and don’t let your dog pee on it.

Save the rainforest: Race for the Rain Forest

Why cant we all just get along?

Whatever happened to dialog?

My apologies to you all, but I have to get serious for a moment here…

How did published newspaper-drawings of Mohammed the prophet in two small countries in Scandinavia, lead to the burning of embassies in the Middle East? - And a 5 kilo gold reward to anyone who kills a Norwegian, Danish or German soldier in Afghanistan? -A reward that will be paid by a Taliban commander…And are the rumors of suicide bombers in Afghanistan, ready to bomb Norwegian and Danish targets, true? If so the world is nuts…

I am not going to get into any politics here or a long debate…but I couldn’t not mention this. How can any Muslim believe that burning and destroying a country’s property or harming or even worse killing another person is the way to respond to something like this? How can they get any respect at all with that kind of behavior? ‘Cause ultimately, isn’t that what they are asking for? -Respect? I feel bad for the less extreme Muslims living in Europe right now…They might end up suffering for what a few extremists do.

And let me ask you this: If you are Christian, and some country other than the one you are living in, printed a provocative picture of Jesus Christ…how would you respond?

I am shocked. I am sad. I am scared of what comes next.

May Allah/God/Jehovah/(add your preference) be with us.

The demise of my mother tongue Part II

Last week I was ranting about my inability to speak and write Norwegian correctly. Although I still struggle with this humiliating problem on a daily basis, I think I might have spotted a light in the other end of the tunnel.

This light which I am speaking of came to me in an epiphany during one of my classes. I was attending my first lecture in "Scandinavian culture landscapes". Don’t ask me why I even signed up for this class...I doubt I will find use for this knowledge as a microbiologist...but hey, I needed some extra credits this semester…and I don’t mind reading about cows. Anyway, the Norwegian professor was speaking English...or he was trying to speak English. We had several exchange students from Germany and Spain and one from Slovakia or maybe it was the Czech Republic...and I wonder if they understood anything of what he was saying. He was talking about how the farmers would collect the "uraine" (urine) and dung from the animals to use as fertilizer, and how the landscape had changed over the years in all of Djurup (Europe)...intermingled with these words came pure Norwegian words as well as some correct English words.

I remember at one point, after having heard Djurup for the first time, I had to turn my head so that the professor wouldn’t see me smiling...I had a hard time keeping my act together trying not to giggle…but I glanced over at one of the exchange students and she was nodding her head, paying attention to what the professor was saying. And it dawned on me that maybe this guy is me in the future..?-Except that I will hopefully still be a woman...But maybe he is incapable of noticing his mixed language. All the Norwegian words intertwined with the English ones...he probably doesn’t even know! Norwegian words with an English pronunciation, and English words with a definite Norwegian pronunciation...

Its terrifying to get a glimpse of your future like that...I guess there is a reason why time travels are so hard to come by...besides the fact that its still fairly impossible, its also highly disturbing to see what’s waiting for you. Although it was also sort of comforting to see that there are others in the same situation...struggling with the same issues. I am not alone.

This has made me a lot more determined to fight my linguistic demons…

I shall not surrender!