...And up again

I really don't like New Years Eve...

Its totally overrated as the teens like to say…and which I tend to say too come to think of it...I always end up at some last-minute party since I never plan the night. Yet I refuse to plan New Years. I dont want to stress about finding some place to be on a night where you are supposed to either have the time of your life, or be a loser. I refuse. So I dont plan, and I end up at the aforementioned party. Usually I have a friend or a boyfriend present, which keeps me from going insane. And every year around midnight I think to myself; "Why am I here? Why am I spending the last night of the year with people I dont know?"

This year seemed to be the same. No plans became party plans. -A party with nothing but strangers. Then it became a party with friends and only that. Then back to the choice of strangers or nothing at all. Wise from previous years of dull parties, I chose alternative B,-nothing at all. Only this year, no expectations turned into a truly great evening (Imagine the shocker). I was prepared for a night alone with the boyfriend at our apartment...(which could be pretty romantic in itself I'll admit) only to get a visit from friends instead. We were only 6 people. The night was quiet yet social and it suited me perfectly. I dont see the point in spending a night that is supposed to be a night of reminiscence, with total strangers.

Perhaps this is a sign that I am growing up...or perhaps it is a sign that I am becoming excruciatingly boring...Either way I guess it doesnt really matter as long as one is having a good time...does it? And I did. And I continue to enjoy myself...or I try to.

Lately it has been difficult and it will continue to be difficult for at least another 2 months. Until I am done with my master thesis, I wont have much free time...and as a result I wont have much time to spend with friends...if you read this I apologize. Combining work and school has been a bitch lately and it will only get harder...but as they say: it gets worse before it gets better...And hopefully by the end of spring, life will open up a bit and make me more available...and relaxed...and perhaps even less boring.

Until then I will try to suck up all the joy I can when I get it. If I have a resolution for this year, it is to do something I really want to do even if its irresponsible to do so. Ive been responsible my whole life...Right now I am deeper in the responsible part of life than Ive ever been before. Once I get out of this pit, I am going to do something reckless.

No matter what.