The Big Apple and the Hairy Pancake

Originally posted June 18th, 2005

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "I predict a riot" by Kaiser Chiefs

I just have to share this with you guys.

I had the weirdest day earlier this week. I was feeling a little claustrophobic in the apartment, and decided to take on Manhattan by myself for a couple of hours. I left the boyfriend at home and decided to do some birthday shopping for various family members. After a couple of hours shopping, I decided to go to Central Park to relax a bit…work on my tan, which is non existent at this moment in time, and do some people watching. I love watching people…just sit on a bench and watch people and their weird habits. Kids with ice cream all over their faces, upper west side ladies with their poodles walking by, tourists with big cameras on their bellies…they all belong in the park.

Anyway, I was on my way to that part of the park where they shot the kidnapping scene in Ransom (the movie with Mel Gibson). I can never remember the name of that area, but it’s a big open square with a fountain in the middle. Check out the movie if you don’t know what area Im talking about.

As I was walking down the stairs on one of the sides, I noticed a film crew at the bottom. I didn’t want to disturb them, so I decided to sit down on the stairs and wait until they were done filming. The crew consisted of 3 camera men, a director and what appeared to be a woman dressed up as a pancake or a gingerbread man. I could only see her from behind, as they were filming her towards me…meaning they probably got me in the background…She was buying a soda from a hot dog vendor, and they did a couple of takes. I noticed she had this long black hair attached to the top of her suit, and she kept waving it away from her eyes…it looked really uncomfortable in that suit, and it was a hot day.

After a few takes, they finished up and left the vendor, and as they were walking away, that’s when I saw the man. He had been standing behind the vendor out of my sight…Dressed up as a HUGE pink penis…with the balls hanging down in front of him. He had to lift up the balls when he walked, so that he wouldn’t trip on ‘em…and he could hardly walk…he was more jumping forward. You should have seen the penis walk…Anyway, that’s when I realized that the woman was NOT a hairy pancake…

I will never look at a pancake the same way… The worst part is that Im probably IN the freakin’ movie! The next time you find a hair on your pancakes…think of me.

After this whole Woody Allen typed porno movie was done, I walked over to the water line and sat down on a bench. Here I managed to be asked out on a date by a Upper East side art critic…we are talking major snob…in his late 40s, early 50s…wearing a white shirt, khakis and a straw hat…those of you who know me knows how weird that situation must have been…There I was sitting in my black baggy pants and a psychedelic tee…with my messy hair do…and this veeery slow talking middle-aged gentleman approaches me and starts talking about art etc. I was flattered, but surprised that this guy would even find me slightly interesting…I looked like I would feel at home on a skateboard…and this guy would probably feel very at home on a yacht or maybe a golf course. Anyways, like I said, I was flattered, but politely declined his offer to take me to an art museum, and he walked away pretty quickly after that.

It was getting late and I decided to walk down to Times Square and take the subway home. It’s a fairly long walk…but I was in walking mood. When I reached the Ed Sullivan theatre and David Letterman, I noticed another film crew with some spectators in the alley where Hello Deli is. Of course like a moth to a flame, I had to check it out. It turned out they were filming a spoof for Letterman’s show. The movie: Full Throttle with Herbie the love Bug is coming out soon, and they were filming something that was supposed to be a crime scene. Apparently Herbie was stolen and smashed and a police officer was talking to a young woman. I have a feeling this young woman was Lindsey Lohan…but I have to admit I’m not sure. I know she is in the movie…and it makes sense that it was her…But I can’t be sure until I’ve seen it on Letterman. She was a lot skinnier than how I remember Lohan…but we’ll see. It was fun to watch anyways. I will know Tuesday next week.

Holy guacamole! This entry turned out a little longer than I had planned…but it all happened in one day…one afternoon actually. I think its safe to say it was an eventful day…It just shows how much you can actually bump into in one single day in the big apple. I’m gonna miss this city…

UPDATE: They never used the spoof on the show...so Im still not certain who the young woman was.